Tag Archive: total recall


A few weeks ago I posted on Twitter (sarcastically) that in around twenty years time a reboot of Harry Potter would be made and Daniel Radcliffe would be limited to a cameo as one of the Hogwarts’ ghosts. And ever since I posted that tweet it seems like Warner Bros. and JK Rowling are doing their best to prove me right.

 

Everyone knows why Hollywood is obsessed with reboots and sequels: because they make money. A whole host of films have been rebooted recently including Clash of the Titans, Total Recall, Evil Dead and there are more in the pipeline: Oldboy, Robocop and Fantastic Four to name just a few. One of the biggest money making franchises ever was the Harry Potter series, and rightly so because it was a perfect franchise that managed to ignite the imaginations of audiences worldwide in a way that I haven’t seen matched in any way, shape or form. Anything branded under the Harry Potter umbrella is guaranteed success commercially, which makes expanding that universe ever so appealing to all the movie bigwigs.

Harry Potter’s story finished back in 2011 and already there are plans to milk the franchise dry for every penny it can possibly produce. That began with the announcement that JK Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will be the spark that sets up a new series of films set in the wizarding world. And is it just me that thinks that is a horrible idea considering the book was released to raise money for the charity Comic Relief and the benefits of the film will more than likely be lining the pockets of Warner Bros. executives? But anyway, who has been asking for an adaptation of that book? I can barely remember the number of times I’ve heard people express their longing to see Newt Scamander on the big screen.. oh actually I can. Zero. This is probably the most obvious money making decision in the history of film making.

And that may not be the only Harry Potter spin-off in the works at Warner Bros. as news that they have trademarked Quidditch Through the Ages and Tales of Beedle the Bard has been announced. When quidditch first appeared in the Harry Potter films it was a revelation and the sequences of the game are fantastic, one of the highlights of the series but this is yet another money making scheme by expanding a universe that nobody has any interest in. The only thing Harry Potter fans want is to see another Harry Potter film, i.e. a film with Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson playing Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

 

So how long can Warner Bros. appease fans with their explicit commercially led ventures and have no regard for the opinions of fans? My guess is not long (of course I could be wrong but lets see shall we). Soon Warner Bros. will be receiving millions of please for a new Harry Potter film and what will they do then? They will realise the amount of money they can make by remaking all eight of the films adapted from JK Rowling’s books and that reboot will be ultimately greenlit.

Even the most die hard fans of Harry and his friends had just come to accept that there would never be more adventures told of the boy wizard and that would be absolutely fine. But now this reignites the flames of desperation and it won’t be soon before Daniel Radcliffe is thrown out of the series and replaced with another eleven year old boy with a lightning bolt on his forehead and broken glasses abridge his nose.

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The nominations for the 33rd Annual Razzie Awards have been announced and after last year saw Adam Sandler heroically sweeping the board by winning (or losing) ten Razzie Awards thanks to his film Jack & Jill, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 attempts to equal that this year after receiving eleven nominations in the ten categories.

Below is a full list of the nominees along with my predictions and other comments.

Worst Picture

Battleship

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure – seriously, look this up… what. the. hell?

That’s My Boy

A Thousand Words

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

 

Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance/Seeking Justice

Eddie Murphy – A Thousand Words

Robert Pattinson – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 – everyone knows he can’t act. Deny it. Try.

Tyler Perry – Alex Cross/Good Deeds

Adam Sandler – That’s My Boy – more as a plea for him to stop making films

 

Worst Actress

Katherine Heigl – One For The Money – not fair really, the film was awful but she did the best she could with it.

Milla Jovovich – Resident Evil: Retribution

Tyler Perry – Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

Kristen Stewart – Snow White & the Huntsman/Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Barbara Streisand – The Guilt Trip

 

Worst Supporting Actor

David Hasslehoff (as himself) – Piranha 3DD

Taylor Lautner – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 – the only trick he has is taking off his top. Never work again!

Liam Neeson – Battleship/Wrath of the Titans – everybody loves him for Taken and Batman Begins but he does make some rubbish.

Nick Swardson – That’s My Boy

Vanilla Ice (as himself) – That’s My Boy

 

Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel – Playing for Keeps/Total Recall

Brooklyn Decker – Battleship/What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Ashley Greene – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Jennifer Lopez – What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Rihanna – Battleship – there’s nothing more gut-wrenching than seeing her name in the credits.

 

Worst Screen Couple

Any two cast members from Jersey Shore – The Three Stooges

Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Tyler Perry and His Drag Get-Up – Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester/Andy Samberg/Susan Sarandon – That’s My Boy

 

Worst Prequel, Remake or Rip-Off or Sequel

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance – should never have been made, I don’t think anyone would argue with that!

Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

Piranha 3DD

Red Dawn – not sure about this one.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 

 

Worst Director

Sean Anders – That’s My Boy

Peter Berg – Battleship

Bill Condon – Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Tyler Perry – Good Deeds/Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

John Putch – Atlas Shrugged: Part 2

 

Worst Screenplay

Atlas Shrugged: Part 2

Battleship

That’s My Boy

A Thousand Words

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

 

Worst Screen Ensemble

Battleship – responsible for one of the biggest flops of the year

Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

That’s My Boy

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 – the best thing about this movie is that finally the franchise is done!

As the success of The Expendables continues to grow and the franchise likely to continue with a third instalment after kick-starting Sylvester Stallone’s and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career it should come as no surprise that this idea is spawning a sister project (of sorts). There are talks for an all female cast to step into the action boots and make an ‘Expendables‘ type film with the biggest female action stars of past and present. Here are my picks of the women I would like to see take part…

 

SIGOURNEY WEAVER

Sigourney Weaver pretty much changed the face of the female action scene with her role as Ellen Ripley in the Alien films. She has even been names the greatest female character in science-fiction film. Her role in this franchise helped carve the way for plenty of female-led action films in the future so Weaver is a shoe-in in my books. She would definitely have to be the leader of the group, the Stallone among our women.

 

HELEN MIRREN

Helen Mirren is a very accomplished English actress and although she is probably most famous for portraying Queen Elizabeth II in The Queen she has recently turned her hand to action films in Red and the upcoming sequel Red 2. She may not be able to keep up with the younger girls in the film but she could definitely fit the Bruce Willis role of the first film with an option for some action scenes later on.

 

ANGELINA JOLIE

Jolie’s film career seems to have waned recently but you cannot dispute the fact that she is an action hero through and through, no matter how serious she tries to be in other films. Tomb Raider, Mr & Mrs Smith, Wanted and Salt have all proven that Jolie has the action credentials to more than hold her own.

 

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ

Here is one of Hollywood’s most common go-to-girls when in need of a tough female to compete with the action heroes. Rodriquez boasts such credits as Avatar, Fast and Furious and played the rough Anna-Lucia in LOST. I can tell you I definitely wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of her, she just looks like she could kick some serious ass.

 

LUCY LIU

Jet Li is the Asian representative for The Expendables and I think Lucy Liu would be the ideal woman to portray a similar role in a female version of the film. She has been in the (albeit not very serious action) film version of Charlie’s Angels but was terrific in Kill Bill.

 

HALLE BERRY

X-Men, Catwoman, Die Another Day have all shown that Halle Berry is capable of being bad-ass at times. She is clearly a talented actress (even though it didn’t show in Catwoman) and I think she could definitely bring something different to the table.

 

MILLA JOVOVICH

She is the star of one of two of the most famous modern female-led action franchises of all time: Resident Evil. The other being…

 

KATE BECKINSALE

Underworld. And as well as here Beckinsale is showing off some action skills in the recent remake of Total Recall.

 

GINA CARANO

Finally, all of the above women have already proven they have what it takes in their long careers so they’re going to need some young blood too. Female action heroes aren’t something you find much among today’s young actresses but Gina Carano is currently making a name for herself, having appeared in Haywire and had a previous career in kick boxing and mixed martial arts. Would you really want to mess with her?

 

CHLOE MORETZ

This is my final choice. The male version of The Expendables focusses on a team of mercenaries and while Moretz may be too young for this the female version won’t be a carbon copy or remake of the original testosterone fuelled action film. Even if Moretz just had a small part as another character’s daughter who had a couple of scenes where she could really let loose that would be great!

 

Anyway… that’s me done. Who would you want to see take action in a female led action ensemble film?